Learn and Practice Essential People Skills for Successful Career and Family Life.

>>Learn and Practice Essential People Skills needed for Career and Life Success: (For details visit : www.successcouples.org
Ability to have Effective Communication with others is one of the significant factors In developing self confidence and achieving success in career as well as Family  Life. Most Top Achievers possess these skills. These are skills Which one can learn, unlearn, practice, develop, sharpen and apply in real situations resulting in success. Try and compare your levels with the Ones we write below:

· 1. Understanding People
People not only come in all shapes, sizes and colors but they Come with different personality types as well. There are many personality
theories. For practical purposes, following are the four types of
Individual personalities:
>> ** Dependent type
>> ** Dominant type
>> ** Type knowingly avoiding  all life problems
>> ** Socially useful type
These types are self explanatory.

People are individuals with as many similarities from one person to the next as differences. In order to communicate most effectively, each individual will require you to communicate with him/her in their own individual preference style, using their language, their preferred gestures, and their pace and intonation.
Here comes the importance of this skill. How do you find out how best to communicate with someone ? Spend time with them ! Don’t expect to meet someone off the street and talk intimately with them within a minute. Understanding a subject takes time – whether that subject is an academic one or concerned with a human being. Thus, first you try to understand the other person or his personality – may be slowly.
2. Expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly:
Human brains can accept and process only certain limited information at any one time. We are flooded with innumerable messages every second, every day. So as to enable the other person to quickly grasp and understand what we tell him/her , your message needs to be clear, specific and to the point.
Thus it is worthwhile taking time to PLAN your communication – no matter by what method it is delivered — to ensure that you are taking the lesser amount of time to focus and express the right level of thought in the most stress-free simple manner. Result > Positive response 99% cases.
3. Speaking up when your needs are not being met:
Just as important in business relationships as in domestic ones, speak up to ensure that your needs are met is a fundamental part of any relationship.
This means your communication needs to be assertive not aggressive. Better you Rehearse your behavior prior to the communication and by repeating your communication and plan for creating a workable compromise.
Assertiveness is a useful communication tool. Its application should be selective and it is not appropriate to be assertive in all situations. Remember your sudden use of assertiveness may be perceived as an act of aggression on others. The whole relationship can spoil. This can happen in a work environment or in a family environment.
What is assertiveness ? What are the problems normally people face if they lack this ability or skill ? Assertiveness.
When agitating forces or emotionally roused activity always dominate on a person, such person is said to possess low self-sufficiency – always doing something he did not want to do and repent later. In this situation the individual lacks certain essential behavior such as failure to reveal themselves, inability to communicate at all levels, low self-esteem and lack of skill to say “ NO “ without being aggressive. These people trust every one. Girls/boys lacking this quality often get into love, self destructive strategies, and other life problems easily.
Such people don’t stand up for their rights. They normally mistake assertiveness as aggressive behavior. They allow others to manipulate them into situations which they do not really want to get in. They feel their rights are secondary to other’s rights. They are easily hurt by what others say. They often feel pushed around by others as they never learned to stand up for their own rights.
Reason for this behavior is generally due to negative self image, anxiety/fear, fear of disapproval by others, fear of criticism by others, their peculiar personality characteristics etc.
Solution: Go for an Assertive Training. For more deatils send email to drgdinakaran1@gmail.com

4. Asking for feedback from others and giving quality feedback return:
While you take care of your possessing Assertive techniques, another most Important aspect is that the giving and receiving of feedback, a key communication skill that must be learnt properly, if you want to have the art of developing long term family/business/workplace relationships.
Toastmasters International teach a useful feedback and critical review technique – first give a sincere compliment, follow this with any practical suggestions for improvement, then wrap up with further sincere praise know as “CRC”, or “Commend, Recommend, Commend”, a three step boost for excellence in giving quality feedback.
Remember, too that truthfulness is a subjective view. What you may find distasteful in someone may be equally desirable from another’s point of view. As we all know, in the ongoing freedom fights in several countries, one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.
5. Influencing how others think and act:
We all have the opportunity to influence how others think and act. We are able to shape the thought and actions of those around us.
From something as simple as smiling and saying , ‘ hellow’ as a way of influencing someone’s mood, to leading by example during an internship period of change, there are many ways of either leading to or drawing of others required behaviors and attitudes to a desired level.
Attitude always remain inside a person. Attitudes are acquired and not inherited. Most important source of acquiring attitude is the direct experience a person had with another person or group of persons or with that object, family, association, neighborhood, mass communication etc. Your attitude towards me is the result of your experience with me. It means your attitudes towards me are influenced by my behavior or actions. Thus if you want to change the attitude of another person, you will have to first understand other person and shape or reshape your behavior and actions to influence the attitude of other person.

Remember that an attitude leads to an emotion, which in turn leads to an action. Shape and re-shape the attitudes and you will have a more reliable way of programming desirable actions from various individuals or groups or team.
Individual may be your spouse, team member, Business partner, Co-worker, friend, boss, colleague, Peer, counter-part, etc.
Practice this communication method by rehearsing, creating a workable compromise formulae, and by learning Psychology etc. etc.
6.. Bringing conflicts to the surface and getting them resolved:
There are conflicting situations in society, family, business, school, college, and everywhere at all times. For example, Some of your employees might be harboring secret resentments of you and you straight away find out what they are, just like catching dark secrets out into the light of day, it would be tough task for you to find solutions and deal with them successfully.
Its embarrassing, potentially humiliating and requires a strong level of patience not to launch straight into a defensive mode, but giving peaceful opportunity to express their concerns, disappointments and anger, face to face, would provide you tremendous opportunity to put things right or help them see where their thoughts and feelings are misplaced.

7. Collaborating with others instead of doing everything by yourself:
Despite advising you all to delegate your work, my work is almost an ONE MAN SHOW > A Specialist in Marital Relationship Therapy ( http://www.successcouples.org )
, A Resource Person and a Trainer in Psychological Counseling/Counseling psychology/ Psychotherapy, An Educational Consultant, an Approved Ph.D. Guide for Researchers, Online Psychological Consultant at a unique, Innovative and FIRST TIME IN THE WORLD, Wavelength technology, based, U.S. Matrimonial Website (http://www.nricouple.com ) primarily targetted both at Resident Indians and Non-Resident Indians living worldwide, An Online Marital Therapist Worldwide, and finally a General Manager and Accountant in my office. I have also been the Content Writer for all my websites www.globalopenuniversitykerala.com ,
www.successcouples.org , www.apcpkerala.org This is not all. I share my time for the family and my children education. Also attend some social functions. But my work starts early in the morning and ends at 9.00 pm almost on all the days. Work is worship. May be I am a workaholic. Mine is only a small business with no plan for expansion.
BUT the fact is that learning to delegate and share has been instrumental in growing any one’s business, if you really want to grow your business successfully.

The quickest way of burying yourself in excess details and unmanageable workload is to do everything yourself. Yet sharing the workload can be the small thing you will ever do. Why is explained below:
Leverage is taking your skills and abilities and allowing others to manage your work capacity. You must train them to do what you do and then you do something else.
There is a useful concept __ ABC Analysis (Always Better Control). We regroup all activities and the most important matters coming under A Group is controlled by the Senior most , B-Group is controlled by Middle Management and the
C-Group which has lesser financial involvement is managed by Lower Management. This I used to do, when I was a Materials Manager in a Govt. Undertaking in my early years.
One bricklayer can only lay a certain number of bricks in an hour, but same bricklayer can train 15 mates to lay bricks and suddenly those bricklayers are building large monuments while the first bricklayer is free to organize the work execution in a scientific manner. While the 15 trained mates are laying bricks, the original bricklayer can be learning to perform advanced and improved methods of bricklaying or learn Sales and Marketing Strategies or learn Managerial skills.
Better you delegate and train others to do your job and you do jobs connected with managing the business in a profitable manner. This idea can bring success to you.

8. Shifting Gears when relationships are unproductive:
Sometimes you need to walk away . Sometimes you need to jettison unhealthy and unwanted cargo. And sometimes you need to take drastic steps to regain balance and momentum.
“Shifting gears” can be as simple as changing the venue of your Supervisor’s meeting from a dark office to a nearby Café. Or shifting a meeting time from a tired evening to a fresh mind morning on the next day etc.
Sometimes it can mean increasing the level of assertiveness in order to ensure the point you are making is being received. Sometimes it might mean bringing others into the meeting so that the other person understands the implications of their attitudes or actions.
And sometimes it can mean helping them find a more meaningful and satisfying role outside of your sphere of influence.

From our experience as Managers, the only way out of a staff impasse was to remove the impediments to progress. It means we should help key protagonists find work outside of the department/ organization. Sometimes culture change can only be effected in a quick way of bringing in an entire new team and throw away the dead wood. This methodology should be applied only as a last resort.

IN MY CLINIC, I conduct Special Psychological Personality Development Programs as under: Clients can avail these Programs either face to face at our Centre at Anjilithanam, Tiruvalla or through Online Counseling for clients living any where in the World.

1. School Refusal Interventions – include Personal Counseling, Personality Assessment, Personality Learning and Unlearning, Personality Fine Tuning for success.
2. College Refusal Interventions – include Personal Counseling, Personality Assessment, Personality Learning and Unlearning, Personality Fine Tuning for success.
3. Personal Counseling and Personality Fine Tuning.
4. Post Marital Counseling and Pre-marital Counseling including Personal counseling, Personality Assessment, Personality Learning and Unlearning, Personality Compatibility Fine Tuning for success. For more details call: 9847027138 or send mail to drgdinakaran1@gmail.com or visit www.successcouples.org or @successcouples.org

feeling happy in Thiruvalla (Tiruvalla), India.

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